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Joke of the Day

"My dad got carpal tunnel syndrome from being on a keyboard in an office all day. It got so bad his boss made him get rid of the piano."

"I walked into the boss's office and handed him a pear. ""What's this for?"" He asked. ""A pay rise."" I replied. ""My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you."""

"im 40 and my girlfriend is 12 months pregnant, am i too old to be a father? :/"

"As I rowed my little boatToward the river shore,A small black bird kept me from landing,Quoth the raven, ""never moor."""

"*waits until you fall asleep* *tests out his new retractable air horn*"

"Why is Superman wanted by the police? He is wanted for being the Man of Steal."

"What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't cry when you drop a load in it."

"Wanna hear a joke The UN"

"What do you call a doll with a fiddle and a hatred of Jews? A Doll Fiddler"

"Have a Coke and a smile! I opened up a can of Coke, and on the side it said: ""Share a Coke with your Soulmate."" So, I put the can in my right hand."