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Joke of the Day

"Like arguing with a forest fire."

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"What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline"
"Whenever a guy named Stephen tells me what to do, I like to yell, ""you're not my real hen!"" and run away..."
"Ruger is coming out with a new pistol called the congressman... X/post from r/guns .....it doesn't work and you can't fire it."
"Can someone please explain why I have to pay full price for Swiss Cheese"
"Santa is always jolly, he knows where the naughty girls live."
"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Genocide."
"Cannibals like to meat people."
"Practice safe lunch... Use a condiment."
"Google Glass, for everyone who's ever thought, ""I like that browser so much, I want it on MY FACE"""