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Joke of the Day

"I walked into the boss's office and handed him a pear. ""What's this for?"" He asked. ""A pay rise."" I replied. ""My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you."""

"Why haven't you ever seen a hippo hiding in a tree? Because they are really good at it."

"My mate said he had a job putting down sick cats... Can't believe he gets paid to slay mad pussy."

"I was expelled from school for masturbating in the showers The teachers said I ruined the trip to Auschwitz"

"What did Sandy say when she came to New York? I come to this great city with great intentions."

"I always hated church because of all the standing, kneeling and sitting... I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."

"bowler hat on a donkey Do you know why it's not recommended to put a bowler hat on a donkey? Because no one likes a smartass..."

"All I want to know is, what idiot named it a zipper...And not a penis flytrap?"

"Why did Paul Walker cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Barbie Brain in a Jar ...an empty jar"