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Joke of the Day
"im 40 and my girlfriend is 12 months pregnant, am i too old to be a father? :/"
Next Joke
"Brock Turner got a slap on the wrist because he's a professional swimmer. And that's the furthest thing from being black one can be!"
"Did you know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama? Otherwise it would have been called a teethbrush."
"What did the Jewish pirate say when he heard his wife died? Argh, shiva me timbers"
"If I had a dollar for every person over 40 that told me my generation sucks I could afford a house in the economy they ruined."
"I went to the doctor with a hearing problem He said ""Can you describe the symptoms?"" I said ""Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"""
"Did a T Rex have two copies of each chromosome? I reckon it was a diploidocus"
"""Don't touch the floor. The floor is the lava"" Pompeii, 79 AD"
"This drink tastes like the neighbors will be hearing late night small arms fire. I swear I just saw a coyote or a squirrel or a tree or a..."
"Just got a gift for my dog. I bought my dog a cute toy from the pet shop and she immediately broke it. I demanded my money back but the manager said they won't refund a dead hamster."