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Joke of the Day
"LPT. Before making any promises to a girl, masturbate twice. It may change your opinion."
Next Joke
"Co-worker: Face up or face down? Me: Um. What? Cw: The fax machine? Documents face up or down? Me: I'm not mature enough to answer that."
"What's another name for a dinosaur? A thesaurus."
"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye 'maighty"
"Just told my toddler to eat 5 bites of her dinner, to which she replied I was horrible. So I counted the number 3 twice. Biotch."
"What do you call a fat magician? A 4-chin teller."
"I hate when a grocery clerk judges you for what you put on the checkout belt. I found that dead cat behind YOUR store & now I want to buy it"
"Why can't Iron Man stay in a steady relationship? He has rust issues."
"Where do sperm go to die when you jack off? The sementary."
"What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? A chocolate BAA"