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Joke of the Day

"I've only ever been wrong once... And that was one time last year when I thought that I was wrong but I wasn't."

"A man walks into a bar *ouch*"

"I accidentally went to Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca... It was a Wookie mistake"

"A Jew and a purse Once went a Jew, found a purse, picked it up: - Shit! 200 dollars are missing!"

"trying to write a mystery novel about a cat detective but I keep getting stumped every time he has to open a door"

"Every time I pinch a loaf; I think,""I don't knead this shit."""

"A recent study has shown you should NOT vaccinate kittens It increases their risk of awww-tism"

"Me: ""Dude, I brought another dress for you to clean."" Dry cleaner: *takes off headphone* ""Sorry, come again?"" Me: ""No, mustard."""

"[at a bar] *creepy dude is hitting on me* Me: you wanna get outta here? Him: yeah Me: cool. I would love it if you left."

"So I think we have pretty much covered what to do if life gives you lemons"