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Joke of the Day

"What if... ... in like 30 years they made a film about Leonardo DiCraprio and how he never won an Oscar...and the actor who played him got an Oscar."

"I found a great way to stop procrastinating! I'll tell you guys later."

"It was my first time getting laid 5 minutes ago I'm hoping to hatch soon."

"What's cold and scary?! I-scream!"

"my shower curtain grabbing my thigh while I was washing my hair is the most action I've gotten in a long time."

"Did you know it was women who coined the term, ""Bromance""? Yeah, basically the concept of friendship is so foreign to them that they created a new word for it."

"Why did the alien phone home on his mobile? Because it was so ET !"

"My wife divorced me because I'm still making april fools pranks. April fools!"

"Ugh. ""What's wrong honey?"" My bad knee is acting up again. *knee robs a gas station*"

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Eggs can't cum."