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Joke of the Day

"So, I'm officially off the market. Got a DM from a faceless Avi proposing marriage in broken English. We're planning a June wedding!"

"I hate waiting in lines. At prom I was overjoyed because there was no punch line."

"I've not smoked weed in two year, during that time I've completed sooooo much ...................... drunk"

"I've never owned a telescope... But it's something I'm thinking of looking into"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Dirty Harry Barbie ...comes with large caliber pistol; pull the string and she says ""Go ahead >giggle< Make my day!"""

"A hot woman telling me about her boyfriend is like setting money on fire in front of a homeless person."

"Can you guess how many turkeys we're gonna serve tomorrow? Turkey-two j.k. we don't celebrate thanksgiving here lol happy normal day to us"

"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if you crushed his spirit by telling him how worthless he was and deprived him of a good education?"

"Hell is nothing but a bunch of moms asking for help with their laptops."

"What should you do if you come across a tiger while in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize."