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Joke of the Day
"My wife divorced me because I'm still making april fools pranks. April fools!"
Next Joke
"How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle? By tying a knot on its tail."
"I saw two priests eating dinner the other day... ... didn't know if I should send them a bottle of wine or an altar boy."
"The human liver can withstand up to 97% damage and make a full recovery. Yet not one doctor will accept this as an argument for alcoholism."
"Do You Like Hardee's? Then you're gonna love how Hardee's nuts hit your face."
"I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months I don't like to interrupt her."
"If you see me smiling it's because I'm thinking of doing something evil or naughty. If you see me laughing it's because I've already done it."
"Stuck in traffic but luckily few people are beeping their horns so we'll be moving any second now."
"Cashier: Smile! Me: Worry about your own face."
"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... (Self-Repost) ...One turns to the other and says ""I can't believe I just blew 30 bucks in there!""."