121615

Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar and notices two things: 1. there's a line. 2. The daily special is a Cranberry & Vodka. So he gets into the punch-line."

"Up-Dog Something smells like updog."

"Screw the nice list, I've got you on my ""nice and naughty list!"

"What do American beer and sex in a canoe have in common? F***ing close to water!"

"Hey, incessant seatbelt indicator beeping, I'll outlast you; just like your friend the gas light. You're not the boss of me."

"My sister's got hay fever, and now she has diabetes. I tried to cheer her up. You know, the usual. Flowers, chocolates"

"I once had a substitute that had no rules, except for no Smashmouth. I thought she was kidding, but then I saw her face."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? Porcupines have their pricks on the outside"

"""Nope. Nope. Yeah right. Nope. Close! Nah. Nope. Almost! Hahaha, you're terrible at this."" - piece of popcorn stuck between teeth."

"Why did the cows come back to the marijuana field? The pot was calling the cattle back"