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Joke of the Day

"Up-Dog Something smells like updog."

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"How do astronauts say they're sorry? They apollo-gize."
"Two men walk into a BAR... The third one ducked!"
"Why does everyone hate German sausage jokes? Because they're the wurst."
"I masturbate with soap Just thought I'd come clean."
"Two big, strong, grey animals are talking to each other... Animal 1: Hey, you realize we have horns on the top of our heads right? Animal 2: Rhino"
"Why does hiring a ship illegally always cost $3.14? Because they're pi rates."
"In a democracy, it's your vote that counts... ...and in feudalism, it's your Count that votes."
"Picture someone you think is kinda/sorta attractive. Now picture them holding a pizza box."
"The young Southern belle came to the hospital for a check-up. ""Have you ever been x-rayed?"" asked the doctor. ""Nope"" she replied ""But ah've been ultra-violated."""