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Joke of the Day

"What do American beer and sex in a canoe have in common? F***ing close to water!"

"Friends and lovers may come and go but allergies are forever."

"So TSA took a Buzz Lightyear toy off a child... I guess they thought it would say ""To infinity... and be-bombed"""

"The pirate missing a hand was looking for a replacement. I suggested the second hand store"

"I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you."

"A baby boy was born last week with no eyelids. They used his foreskin to graft eyelids. The poor kid is now cockeyed."

"Hi Operator, Can you connect me to Steph Curry? Operator: Just dial 739 Guy: I did but there's no Ring"

"Why do skateboarders make lousy plumbers? Because they only use half pipes."

"What's Franklin D Roosavelt's favorite game show? Deal or New Deal"

"I own a Driver-less car. Yup, it's sitting parked on my driveway right now."