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Joke of the Day

"I once had a substitute that had no rules, except for no Smashmouth. I thought she was kidding, but then I saw her face."

"*robs craft store with hot glue gun*"

"Working out is like sex It's the best way to make your family larger."

"If i dress up as a sea shell nobody can see me... It's my clamouflage."

"Modern fast food has a ""fuck you"" attitude that I relate to on a deeply personal level."

"A man was walking his dog through a graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone. ""Morning!"" he said. The other man replied, ""No, just taking a shit."""

"It's like grandma always said... Make sure you put everything in the medicine cabinet back where you found it or you won't be invited back."

"What do you call a cow having a seizure? A milkshake."

"Why did the creator of 9gag call it that? Because that was how many dicks he could fit in his mouth before he gagged."

"Why did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the second hand store!"