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Joke of the Day

"How do you call a joke that is not funny? Lame."

"What's Putin's new favorite song? Crimea River"

"What did the Italian diver say when he saw an eel? That's a moray!"

"Where was the NSAs wire taps when the McCallisters were leaving messages with all the neighbors that Kevin was home alone? Thanks Obama."

"10 yr old brother put a twist on this joke I saw awhile back. Why do the Irish serve up their chili with 139 beans? Because one more would be one-farty bowl of chili!"

"Batman obsessively searches the freezer and Alfred says ""What are you looking for!?"" ""Just-ice!"""

"The fun way to tell if a celebrity is crazy is by how many times they delete and reactivate their Twitter account."

"I just bought some land with a stranger and now we have a lot in common."

"Grandson told me his uncle abused him as an April fools prank. I don't know why he's so upset I didn't fall for it."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Beats. Beats who? Beats me."