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Joke of the Day

"My favorite Star Trek episode is that one where Captain Kirk saves the Klingons hundreds of dollars on hotel reservations."

"While texting a girl she told me ""I'm board"" so I stopped seeing her. I wasn't offended. I just don't date wood. Or people who can't spell."

"What does a French beaver call her home? (From my 8 year old) Madame"

"Why did the gamer start working out? He wanted to finally get respecced."

"Guy passes a buff guy on the street and asks, ""Are you a pole vaulter?"" He says, ""No, I'm German. How did you know my name was Walter?"""

"What do you call a narcissistic plant with an erection? A self-raising flower. I'm so sorry."

"An old lady standing in line at a bank machine asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over."

"Why did they name golf golf? Because fuck was already taken."

"A man asks God... Man: ""Why did you make women so beautiful?"" God: ""So you would love her."" Man: ""Then why did you make her so dumb?"" God: ""So she would love you."""

"Why can't you hear a dog whistle? Because they have a hard time puckering their lips the right way."