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Joke of the Day

"Pizza is like sex... When its good, its really good, but when its bad, its still pretty good."

"How can you tell if you have a high sperm-count? if she has to chew before swallowing."

"Cat doesn't realize if he succeeds in tripping me on the way downstairs to feed him, we all die."

"Apparently ""I don't like scary movies,"" is not an appropriate response to being asked to watch a wedding video."

"Searching for porn gifs... Results be like, ""oh my go..."" ""oh my go..."" ""oh my go..."" ""oh my go..."""

"Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behavior does."

"I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist."

"I feel like Tampax at a good place, but wrong time..."

"What do you call a Chinese man with a pet cat? A vegetarian."

"The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score."