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Joke of the Day

"You know what's a shame? A bus carrying lawyers and politicians going off a cliff and everyone on board dying. You know what's a damn shame? There was an empty seat in the back. Edit: details."

"Last night I had a dream that I was running and accidentally tripped over my dick... I knew it was a dream because I was running."

"Their wedding went off without a hitch... ...which was a problem in itself!"

"When you're at someone's house? Normal people: ""What a lovely house!"" Me: ""What's your wifi password?"""

"What do you call it when the robot from Futurama gets in a minor car accident while wearing a dress? A gender bender Bender fender bender."

"What do you call a Mexican walking on the moon? An astronaut you racist.."

"Whenever someone says to me ""You look so familiar, where do I know you from?"" I say, ""Do you watch porn?"""

"""How about if the villain is a psychopath out to make a skin suit?"" - Not in a kids movie, dude. ""Ok, but it's puppy skin?"" - Oh, then YES!"

"Start a Reddit for GF Earn more karma on her account than mine."

"The Pink Panther's To Do List To do...To do...To do, to do, to do...To do, to doooo... Saw this on The Doghouse Diaries today and it made me laugh... Edit: Formatting"