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Joke of the Day
"I bet the first guy to pee on someone's jellyfish sting was NOT trying to help them."
Next Joke
"[tv interview] did you get upset? ""that *beep* lied to me, she can go *beep* herself"" don't do that. just curse and we will add the beeps"
"Are you guys alright? No you are all left."
"My friend bought a stone mirror. It reflects poorly on him."
"Where does beef come from? Cowschwitz."
"What do a Pediatrician and Podiatrist have in common? Their patients are 2'"
"McDonald's uses canola oil, Five Guys uses peanut oil, and Taco Bell uses... castor oil"
"Jewish kid calls his dad from college... ...asking for fifty dollars. Dad responds: ""Forty dollars? What do you need thirty dollars for?"""
"At a First Date Conversation At a first date: He: ""I work with animals every day!"" She: ""Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"" He: ""I'm a butcher."""
"Hillary Is Like Francium... Take her *elect*ron away and she won't blow up have of America."