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Joke of the Day

"Two tangents meet at a bar After a long evening the one tangent says: ""That was fun, we should meet again!"" The other: ""You know that isn't going to happen!"""

"Raise your hands if you just completed a gymnastics routine."

"My friend stabbed me with a pencil, I guess you could say I got the point."

"[camera cuts to me in crowd at NFL game holding a giant sign that says ""I CAN'T BELIEVE THE HOT DOGS ARE 8 DOLLARS""]"

"What do politicians and diapers have in common? They both should be changed regularly, for the same reason! *ba dum tssh*"

"I'd never snoop through my girlfriend's phone out of love, a deep respect and the inability to crack her password."

"Nothing's labeled clearly, I was promised tea & never got any, the criminal justice system is barbaric. ~ Alice's Yelp review of Wonderland"

"You know you're drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on"

"What's blue and orange & sits at the bottom of a swimming pool? A baby with burst armbands."

"Do brothels do tight arse Tuesday? And is it cheaper or more expensive?"