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Joke of the Day

"[invention of kissing] WEIRD PERSON: Hey let me lick the inside of your mouth EVEN WEIRDER PERSON: Ok"

"i asked my wife to send me a naughty picture on snapchat... so she sent one of our kids playing in my electronics drawer"

"Why is the bride always sad on her wedding day? Because she doesn't get to marry the best man."

"Scientists discover first gay dinosaur... Its official scientific name is Megasaurass"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Arnie ! Arnie who ! Arnie having fun ?"

"I wish ""it's the thought that counts"" worked for housework."

"Why was 11 afraid of 12? Because 12 13 14!!!!! GET IT?!?!??! source: some comment on reddit I read like 6 months ago"

"Black people always name their kids things they can't afford La'Diamond, La'Mercedes, La'Phonebill"

"What do buzzards in Kansas eat? Carrion, my wayward son."

"[date] HER: Any hobbies? ME: I collect old comics HER: Oh! Like 1st editions? ME: [flashback to Billy Crystal tied up in basement] Sure"