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Joke of the Day

"Oh, some guy screwed you over? Would you like to explain how the whole male population is responsible for this?"

"Biggest joke on the planet. Real Madrid"

"If you think my laughter is infectious, you should try having unprotected sex with me."

"How do you keep an idiot busy for 3500 years? Give them a bible"

"What's Brown and sticky? A stick"

"Today is definitely a good day to be kissed but I'm going to sit inside and look at my phone because sometimes that feels like kissing too"

"What's the difference between Here and There? When you're right the whole room shouts ""Here, here!"" But when you're wrong one person pats you on the back and says ""There, there."""

"I found Jesus last week... My garden has never looked nicer."

"The man who invented the dildo sadly passed away. His funeral went just as expected. Only women came."

"Teen smoking is down 35 percent from when I was a kid. Unfortunately, so is teen ""coolness."""