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Joke of the Day

"today I matched speeds with a car on the highway so I could make eye contact with a dog in the backseat"

"Congratulations, Americans who write ""Cheers"" at the end of e-mails. You've found something even more pretentious than ""Sent from my iPhone"""

"Fortune Teller I told my friend that my dream was to be a cola drinking fortune teller but I knew it would never happen. He told me to stop being pepsimisstic."

"According to movie trailers, 98% of white kids are possessed by the devil."

"Bolt beats De Grasse in 200m because he's Jamaican You could even say Bolt smokes De Grasse."

"The only reason most men are homophobic is because they are afraid of being hit on in the same manner that they do to women(cat call)"

"In A Error At 99% Completed Understanding A Girl: . . . This Is Like Downloading A 4GB File. At The Speed Of 2kbps. Which Ends Up.. In A Error At 99% Completed!"

"Best pun ...EVER Unfortunately I didn't go to the Gym today but the cashiers name at McDonald's was Jim .... So same thing, right??"

"ME: So you indicate action using airstrikes? HER: What? No, I said asterisks. ME: Ha, of course. [to walkie-talkie] Disengage. DISENGAGE!"

"A lion would never (Old joke) A Lion would never cheat on its wife but a Tiger wood."