5005

Joke of the Day

"What is the name of the Asian pointing out everyones mistakes? Xu wong"

"A grasshopper walks into a bar ... The bartender says ""Hey we have a drink named after you"" The grasshopper says ""You have a drink named Steve?"""

"Help! I've been canned with preserved fruits! I guess you could say I'm in a jam."

"Son: ""Mom, Dad, I'm gay."" Mom: *Stares at Dad* Dad: *Clenches fist* Mom: ""Don't!"" Dad: *Sweats Profusely* Mom: ""..."" Dad: ""HI GAY, I'M DAD"" Edit: Yay top of r/jokes, #lifegoals Also formatting"

"Who was the knight that invented the round table? Sir Cumference. (via friend who got this from a street performance group in the England area of Epcot)"

"""Is that the guy who doesn't know how to use the word poignant?"" Yea shhh he's coming over here THE GUY: hey guys! long time no poignant"

"Katy Perry is such an inspiration to all those young girls out there who want to grow up and ride giant golden tigers."

"What do you call a sheep giving birth in a bedroom? Bedlam"

"I was at the park today by the playground. A mother asked me which kid was mine. ""I haven't decided yet.""."

"I used to be a banker but I lost interest"