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Joke of the Day

"License and registration please. ""Bears."" Excuse me? ""Beaaaaars."" Are you drunk sir? ""BEAAAARS!"" Stop saying bea- *cop is mauled by bears*"

"What is a crevice that is owned by someone and not allowed to be stepped into? None of your abyss-ness"

"What is religious favorites food ? Chop Suey"

"Assuming makes an ass out of u and Ming, the thai food delivery boy who you assumed was from Thailand but is actually Chinese."

"What do you call a female barber? A Bobbitt"

"Why don't white supremacist drink the water in Central America? Because it's Nicaragua"

"Whats the difference between a rooster and a whore? A rooster says cock-a-doodle-do and a whore says any-cock'll-do"

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."

"I tried building a robotic midget... but it had a short circuit."

"Five Star Hangover Judging from the bar receipts, ATM withdraws, hand stamps, and the vomit in my car, I'm pretty sure that I'm a ball of fun when I black out on Saturday night."