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Joke of the Day

"Five Star Hangover Judging from the bar receipts, ATM withdraws, hand stamps, and the vomit in my car, I'm pretty sure that I'm a ball of fun when I black out on Saturday night."

"My inspiration for jokes is like a guy at a brothel... It comes and goes... It also occasionally sucks ;)"

"Just been told I've got the job as a mime ... I'm speechless."

"What kind of sounds does Jaimie Foxx make in the bedroom? No sound at all, the D is silent"

"Anyone who can tell if they're speeding up or slowing down a ceiling fan on the first try is a wizard and should not be trusted."

"When's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty"

"Hangry A state of anger caused by lack of food. May evoke negative change in emotional state. Translation: feed me or i'll cut you"

"What do you call a frog that's parked illegally? Toad."

"Why did the stoner go to the chapel? To marry Jane"

"Why do computer programmers spend so much time in the shower? The directions clearly state: ""Rinse, lather, repeat"""