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Joke of the Day

"I've stopped trying to understand sandwiches with a third piece of bread in the middle."

"You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb."

"Food Fact: PringlesTM are actually shavings from the AllpringleTM, which resides in the center of the Earth"

"UK and USA are in a contest to destroy themselves. The UK edged ahead with Brexit, but the US just played their trump card."

"Get your therapist to start taking you seriously by pulling a donut out of your purse."

"Why do donut shops not hire security? Because Cops go there willingly. Free security and protection."

"Twitter yesterday: We are outraged about the lion! Twitter today: We are outraged about the outrage about the lion!"

"The Zika virus is officially sexually transmitted... Be careful next time you ask for ""a little head, baby."""

"ME: *falls into gorilla enclosure* GORILLA: [in sign language] I have a boyfriend."

"The only time my car goes 0-100 real fast. Is when it's sitting in broad daylight on a summer day."