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Joke of the Day
"Why are there more females in the asexual community? because lesbians don't get boners."
Next Joke
"Nothing makes me turn off my car and start leisurely tweeting faster than someone honking at me to pull out of a parking space."
"I bought my kids electric toothbrushes because it was taking too long to splatter toothpaste all over the bathroom w/the regular toothbrush."
"Three things that are certain in life~ 1) Death 2) Paying taxes 3) Somewhere a woman is pissed at a man ...."
"In a courtroom... *Mickey. mouse, it says here you want to divorce mini because she was... extremely silly? ""No! I said she was fucking goofy!!"""
"Never end a sentence with a preposition For example: The boy had no one to play a preposition. Wait... I think I gave two examples above."
"Next time somebody calls your home phone... Say ""Can I call you back? I'm driving."""
"A very large woman was walking her dog... and as she walked by I said ""nice pig,"" she looked at me with a puzzled face and said ""that's no pig, it's my dog."" I replied with ""I was talking to the dog."""
"Knock knock Who's There? Adjust. Adjust who? Adjust lost the game."
"I used to work in a haunted pub... There was spirits everywhere."