121002

Joke of the Day

"Cop; Know why I pulled you over? Me; Because you got beat up in high school Cop;....... Me; Because you got beat up in high school, Sir?"

"How many Harambe memes done an average human make a day? Gorillif I know Front page here we come?"

"What's a nuns favorite day of the week? Sununday."

"What did the fruit say to the vegetable, at dinner? Lettuce Pray"

"""Bite me, asshole"" - grammatically correct and scathing ""Bite me asshole"" - kinky pirate"

"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last long if you're fat."

"How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work."

"Where's a lesbian's favorite place to shop? The Liquor store"

"My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding.... She got mad and said she's never playing Scrabble with me again."

"Interview Boss: Greatest weakness Me: Sometimes I answer questions with 90s rap lyrics B: Is that here on your resume M: Whoomp, there it is"