121002

Joke of the Day

"Cop; Know why I pulled you over? Me; Because you got beat up in high school Cop;....... Me; Because you got beat up in high school, Sir?"

"What does the Obama administration think about foreign relations? Why so Syrias?"

"I've been calling my wife ""honey"" for 12 years because I don't know how to tell her I forgot her name."

"Hey, baby, you wanna come back to my place, and become a famous murder victim?"

"Nice guys finish last, cause stamina."

"Either people up north are getting friendlier or it's the spring-like weather because I was just told to ""please"" go fuck myself."

"It's a shame push-up bras don't work on IQs."

"Why was the floppy disk self-conscious? Because it was FAT."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, feminists cant change anything!"

"I accidentally just sent a kissy face emoji to my female boss... and now we wait for the call from HR on Monday."