75991

Joke of the Day

"I accidentally just sent a kissy face emoji to my female boss... and now we wait for the call from HR on Monday."

"Guaranteed weight loss! Stop eating!"

"A good name for a transvestite. Susan B. Anthony"

"The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, ""Move to the passenger seat""."

"I'm sick of people knocking on my door, begging. There's just been a woman asking for donations for a sperm bank........ I gave her a right fcuking mouthful."

"When apart, Sodium and Chlorine are harmful. When they form a bond, they are harmless to humans. Huh, isn't that ionic?"

"What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce in the South? Nothing, someone's losing the trailer. -Robin Williams"

"[horror movie in 2169] The killer creeps up behind the college co-eds and JUST STARTS THROWING GLUTEN EVERYWHERE [entire audience faints]"

"Madonna is tryin to get Spice Girls back together. Only condition is she gets to join them. They gonna call her Old Spice."

"The Police asked me to make a statement so I stripped naked and ran around the precinct shouting, ""Save the whales!"""