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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a cow masturbating? Beef stroganoff!"
Next Joke
"Vegans think they will live longer than us, but they don't realize they are 100 times more likely to be murdered mid conversation."
"My wife said we each needed to make sacrifices to make our relationship work. She was less than impressed with the dead goat I left in our kitchen."
"My pastry factory has been pretty successful... So far we've had a good turnover."
"Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die."
"Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. In many cases this will mean showing up to the interview in a pirate suit."
"At first I wasn't sure about my beard But it's growing on me"
"Light a fire for a man and he'll be warm for an hour... light him on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
"What bounces and makes kids cry? My donation cheque to ""Children in Need""."
"The opposite of aging gracefully is aging nancygracefully, where you literally morph into a horrible human being."