181295

Joke of the Day

"Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die."

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered her today to place bets on how long this marriage will last because these idiots met 2 months ago."

"Can't believe New Zealand are introducing a new flag just as I finished memorising the old one."

"Where do you hide a hippie's weed? Under the soap."

"Donald Trump wants to ban pre-shredded cheese He wants to make America grate again!"

"Even though the Miami Dolphins traded down in the draft... They still got the highest pick."

"Daughter: Dad, can I have some Kit Kat for my snack tonight? Me: Absolutely not D: Why? M: Because I said so D: Because you ate them? M: Yes"

"First World Problems How to create FWP, Get a dog and a boy and throw the boy down the well and go get your dog to save him because you to lazy to do it *AMERICA*"

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's too cheesy."

"A woman calls the nursing home to see how her father is doing. 'He's like a fish out of water.' You mean he's having trouble adjusting?' No, I mean he's dead.'"