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Joke of the Day

"Honestly, after an hour of Disney Channel I don't give a shit about the future"

"Being the tallest person at work, leads me to believe they hired me because they were short staffed."

"Hey, sorry I missed your call. I saw your name on the caller ID and I didn't want to ruin my day by talking to you."

"How can you tell if you're at a gay picnic? The hot dogs taste like shit."

"I heard that Al Qaeda recently received substantial financial aid from an unknown person in South Korea. It seems the terrorists have Won."

"No officer,YOU`RE going the wrong way."

"If a psychic goes to the bathroom in the forest, does he make a sound? No, because the ""p"" is silent."

"This beautiful woman is winking at me right now. Now she's using the other eye. Oh never mind. She's falling asleep."

"If he doesn't return your texts, it's because he's busy leaving his wife for you. Obviously."

"Why is a guy in the Navy called a seaman? You are what you eat!"