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Joke of the Day

"Hey, sorry I missed your call. I saw your name on the caller ID and I didn't want to ruin my day by talking to you."

"Whenever it rains my girlfriend just stands at the window looking sad. Maybe I should let her in."

"Where do people in Detroit get their groceries? They don't."

"I love that all the Catholics are easy to single out today. Can't believe no one's tried publically marking people by religion before."

"If the pope sent an overnight package with a special message, would it be Fed-Ex Cathedra?"

"Canada was like, ""This is all part of the Northwest Territories,"" but the Inuit were having Nunavut."

"Q: What's worse than raining cats and dogs? A: Hailing taxis."

"Did you hear about the Asian guy who was so terrible that nobody mourned his death? He was unbereaveable."

"Funny that Lebron couldn't even finish a game due to cramps when RoboCop saved all of Detroit without even having his own legs"

"The recipe said ""Set the oven to 180 degrees,"" so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall."