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Joke of the Day

"What did the egg say when asked what a whisk does? Beats me."

"What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard? It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!"

"Tell 'em how it 'tis, not how it 'twas: Edition 2. The joke used to be ""If ya lick 'er, it's quicker"". Now it's: ""If y'ignore 'er, ya score 'er."""

"Some delivery guy knocked on my door today and said, ""I have a parcel for your next door neighbour."" I replied, ""You've got the wrong house then, haven't you?"""

"Where are you going? ""Ice fishing"" You know you can just buy ice at the store right? ""No I mean th..."" Or just freeze some water even..."

"Why did the Energizer Bunny need to lawyer up? He was charged with battery."

"A scotsman goes to the dentist. Sits down on the seat and the dentist asks ""Comfy?"" The scotsman replies ""Glasgow mate"""

"I dream of a world without war, without poverty and without girls who post sexy selfies with unrelated inspirational quote captions."

"What do humans and sharks have in common? The great ones are always white."

"Has anyone seen the trailer for the latest Tom Cruise movie? He can't go to the bathroom at all. It's called Mission Impissable."