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Joke of the Day

"What're nuts on a wall? Bob: What are nuts on a wall? Dan: walnuts? Bob: What are nuts on a chest? Dan: Chestnuts? Bob: What are nuts on your chin? Dan: Chinnuts? Bob: No, dick in your mouth!"

"He died doing what he loved, annoying the hell out of me and not believing I would stab him."

"I just got to my Grandpa's house, we have a little talk about politics, and then he says we should watch something intelligent... And then He put on Fox News."

"If a candidate takes Virginia.. it will make his caucus hard."

"Last night, I had a dream that I was walking on a white sandy beach... At least that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning..."

"Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn't counting calories."

"My weed stash is like the Koran... If you burn that shit, you'll get stoned."

"Relationships are like Algebra... You look at your X and wonder Y."

"What's the wrong way to feed the cat? to the dog."

"do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don't have to be there"