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Joke of the Day

"There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley One was assaulted."

"What did God say after creating man? I must be able to do better than that."

"Seems like /r/jokes likes puns about penises... Hey, I won't dick-scriminate."

"Chuck Norris was at an interview ... And he ended up giving the guy head but didn't give him the job."

"I'm on hold. My call is important to them."

"It's International Holocaust Remembrance Day And Fugghedaboutit Day in Germany."

"Instructions for having an adventure: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you're the valet. 3. Say yes."

"It's always ""Too hard. Too soft. Too short. Too thick."" I'm never inviting Goldilocks to another orgy"

"[roommate watching me get ready] dont take that with you ""why not"" why would you ""it'll be fine"" [hour into date and I spill my bag of ants]"

"Why did the hot dog vendor cry? He burned his wiener"