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Joke of the Day
"Usually, the one you want, is the one you can't have."
Next Joke
"I don't answer unexpected knocks on the door in case it's the beginning of a very polite Zombie Apocalypse."
"What is Illinois known for? The three C's. Chicago, Corn, and Corruption."
"I just recently became a vegetarian. I quit meat cold tofu."
"If a midget smokes weed... does he get high, or medium?"
"What do you call a black man that flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist!"
"Babies are terrible at running their own small businesses."
"[my first day as a financial investor] ""I'm going all in on this Acme Corporation. Anybody want a piece?"""
"I'VE GOT GOATLIKE SPEED & REFLEXES ""Don't you mean catlike-"" BAAAH [Climbs on top of roof and begins eating shingles]"
"What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after!"