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Joke of the Day

"Today's a really good day... 10/10"

"Apple Products My friend asked me why I don't like Apple products. Told her that the cables remind me of my ex-gf, white and kink-free."

"I bet at least ONE of Leonardo DiCaprio's friends has called him Leotard. Probably Mark Wahlberg..."

"#Parenthood Throwing a ball to a two year old is like....well...playing ""throw a ball and go get it yourself""...."

"[lightbulb store] owner: ""what watt can i get you?"" me: owner: me: owner: ""did i stutter?"" me: ""i dont know"""

"If there's a ""Mr."" in front of your cat's name you're going to die alone."

"Anybody heard about that new drug for lesbians? Trycoxagain"

"My German girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10. Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done."

"Why did the Frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the Chicken."

"How did Steve Jobs die? From PC"