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Joke of the Day
"Dance like nobody's watching, sing like nobody's listening, Tweet like the NSA doesn't exist."
Next Joke
"We're having lobsters for dinner . Update - we have pet lobsters now"
"If you open Pandora's Box you better at least buy her dinner."
"I don't know why women spend so much money on sunglasses... Wouldn't it be cheaper to just tint the kitchen windows!"
"I walk the walk. I talk the talk. But mostly I sit the sit."
"Here's a joke just for reddit: How many narwhals does it take to screw in a light bulb? Bacon"
"I respect older people because they made it through school without Google OR Wikipedia."
"Lost my first follower today. Funeral is Tuesday. Will be live tweeting. It's what he would have wanted."
"When I die I want the people I did group projects with to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time."
"The two most horrific words on the internet are ""Begin Slideshow."""