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Joke of the Day
"[Scientific Conference] Scientist 1: So science? Scientist 2: *nodding* Science."
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"What do you give and take at the same time? a poop"
"Two buddies just got home from working out at the gym... Guy 1: ""Dude, were out of protein powder!"" Guy 2: ""No Whey!"""
"If you could pick any superhero name and power, what would they be? My name would be ""Dad"" and my power would be *invisibility*..."
"""Whose funeral was this photo taken at?"" John, serious tone: ""I dunno. Let's see who's missing"" possible funniest thing john has said"
"Rioters are destroying Baltimore. Don't worry though, all the bookstores are safe."
"Baby you're so cute you made my page 404."
"My friend takes helium recreationally. He speaks very highly about it."
"A man accidentally made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind. And now, we wait..."
"Apparently saying, ""You mad, bro?"" is frowned upon if you work in customer service."