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Joke of the Day

"My friend got drunk and thinks he had sex with a prostitute... At first he wasn't sure, but then he was *positive*."

"TL;DR The fine bros me: i'm allergic to peanuts fine bros: is that an allergic reaction? me: yes fine bros: see you in court"

"Someday, I wish Twitter will come up with a new & useful feature for once, like a sarcasm indicator for the ones who never get it."

"I'll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome."

"I'm going start wearing a cape instead of headphones to deter people from talking to me."

"When you watch Jersey Shore, Darwin cries."

"I was going to post my best Madeline McCann joke but my parents would kill me"

"I just had my first prostate examination Worst dentist ever."

"*Dad enters room dressed as Han Solo* ""May divorce be with you"" ""What?"" ""Your mother and I are getting a divorce. I figured I'd make it fun"""

"Can we just make serving unsalted french fries a federal offense?"