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Joke of the Day

"I'm going start wearing a cape instead of headphones to deter people from talking to me."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It will take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chick."

"After moving to a boring part of the West, what did Sauron say when he spotted gaps around the threshold to his home? I need more door."

"Did you hear about the cannibal in the colosseum? He was gladiator."

"If your dog has weird unsightly nipples, it's OK to throw 3 or 4 little bras on it."

"It's starting to look like Christmas in New York A lot of the stores have trees in the window"

"Calling ""shotgun"" is great way to lighten the mood when getting in the squad car after the cops arrest you."

"How is the RNC going to wash themselves of the reputation Trump has given them? Lather, Reince, repeat."

"How do you react to the fragrance of a bottle of wine from the year 2000? Smells like teen spirit."

"My Jewish family banned beans, Ever since my grandfather died of uncontrollable gas."