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Joke of the Day

"""Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals!"" Hitler: ""Mine fewer then"" Reddit: ""I did **not see** that coming"" EDIT: Shit, I didn't get that Reich at all"

"What do you call a bunch of unicorns? A unicornucopia."

"Donald Trump calls on Hillary to shut down her foundation. Meanwhile, we're all still begging him to choose a more natural color for his."

"What's 9 inches long, rock hard, full of semen, and the ladies scream at? my cock."

"Kids, make sure you learn how to use a protractor in case one day you're a teacher & have to show kids how to use a protractor."

"Get a hair cut, run away without paying. They can't chase you because they're holding scissors. The perfect crime."

"A programmer's wife asks him to pick up a loaf of bread and, if they have eggs, get a dozen. The programmer comes home with a dozen loaves of bread."

"Did you hear about the businessman who is so rich he has two swimming pools one of which is always empty? It's for people who can't swim!"

"What do you call a bee that gets engaged? A Beyonce."

"What did Tony Abbott do when he heard Denmark had surplus wind power ? Cut funding for wind power in Australia"