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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bee that gets engaged? A Beyonce."

"Judge: Your first marriage was terminated by death? A: Yes by death. Judge: And by whose death was it terminated?"

"What do you get your girlfriend for Valentines Day? A box of chocolate, flowers and a dildo. So if she doesn't like the chocolate and flowers she can go fuck herself."

"I don't pluck my unibrow to look good, I do it because McDonald's sued me for illegal use of the double arches."

"A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass. The doctor described his condition as stable."

"Don't judge a German tourist until you've walked a mile in his socks/sandals combo."

"What happens to a jew when he runs into a wall with an erection? He breaks his nose"

"What do you call a yak that wants to talk to you about a network marketing opportunity? A cognac"

"What's the hardest part about cooking a vegetable? Getting the wheelchair in the pot."

"What's worse than paper tits? Cardboard box."