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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump is such a good salesman he could sell ice to the Eskimos. Which will come in handy considering his policies on global warming."

"*shuts down road going both ways* Right over here, officer. Here is where the accident happened. *pulls tiny sheet over squirrel*"

"A girl told me that I have a really strong tongue today. It was my dentist holding my tongue back as the other one was filling a cavity."

"Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because he has a million of degrees."

"I was given two t-shirts, a jacket and a sweater. They where shirty gifts."

"A Jew walks into a BAR.. Passes."

"Why did the Pepsi executive get fired? He tested positive for Coke."

"I hope you brought the divorce papers... Cuz your legs are about to be separated."

"Lady: he's so mysterious Lady2: I wonder what he's thinking [Me, just wondering how easy it'd be to convert a nerf gun to fire meatballs]"

"I'm basically Switzerland. I'm cold and you have to get really high in order to truly appreciate my beauty."