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Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? Two... One to beat the the room for being black and the other to beat the switch for being broke."

"What do you call a scientist that measures things in space? A cosmetrologist."

"I put a black hole in my living room. It's great. Really pulls the room together."

"There should be a second 'The Ugly Duckling' written Benjamin Button-style for all the cute kids that turn out ugly."

"How do monkeys go down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster! :D"

"What should you do if you're in the jungle and come upon a tiger? Say you're sorry, wipe him off, and run."

"So I was having sex the other day... I thought I was doing a great job because her toes kept curling, then I realized she was still wearing panty-hose..."

"TRUE STORY Just made this restaurant change its ""All you can drink Brunch"" Policy."

"What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand"

"I used to be a fan but now I'm an air conditioner."