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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a scientist that measures things in space? A cosmetrologist."
Next Joke
"[quietly] ""Always a bridesmaid never the bride"" BRIDE: Hey, you're not one of my bridesmaids! ""Shhh...this day is about you, not me."""
"What do you get from pampered cows? Spoiled milk!"
"Jewelry in my family gets passed down from generation to generation. My tongue ring used to be my grandmother's clit ring."
"[Commercial for lawnmowers] [Exhausted looking guy stood in his garden] *Stabs a long sword into the grass* ""There has to be a better way"""
"""sure was nice of me to give that homeless guy $5 this morning"" [sees Steve Bannon on TV holding a Starbucks] ""son of a..."""
"A penguin walks into an airport... A TSA officer stops him and says ""Penguins can't fly."""
"If a white woman goes to the Caribbean and doesn't get cornrows did the trip even happen?"
"""dont get conned into spendin our lottery money"" i wont [calls wife back] will 2 sharks fit in our pool? ""NO"" ok [to salesman] one shark pls"
"I'm just looking for a woman who is smart, funny & can drive a getaway car tomorrow morning at 8"