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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand"
Next Joke
"I Hate everyone! Angry guy: I HATE EVERYONE Random guy: Sir, how can you hate me? You dont even know me.. Angry guy: Hello my name is George.. Random Guy: Im Max.. George: OK, now fuck you Max"
"What do you call an owl escapologist? The great Hootini"
"There is one type of person in this world... The type who half understands statistics."
"Beer commercials really overestimate how many attractive people live in my apartment building."
"*you open a ring box and inside it is an enormous pair of jeans* He went to Jared"
"I forgot I had an ambien in my back pocket Now my ass is asleep"
"JUDGE: I hereby sentence you t- PENGUIN COURT REPORTER: *angrily smashing keyboard with flippers* CAN YOU GUYS SLOW DOWN A BIT"
"I really wish my coworker would stop asking me so many god damn work related questions while I'm staring at my phone"
"Why does Shakira have such a hard time sleeping at night? Because her hips won't lie."