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Joke of the Day
"PROPOSAL: Rebrand shootings as ""late-term abortion."" Watch the GOP scramble to stop them."
Next Joke
"A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks ""Why the long face?"" He answers, ""because I'm an alcoholic and I'm destroying my family."""
"Every ten seconds, someone in London gets stabbed Poor bastard."
"What do you call sex with a burrito? Getting chipotlaid."
"Santa is the ultimate hipster. Works one day a year and spends the rest of the year judging you."
"Me: I get most of my tweeting material from you son. 9: I'm glad I expire you. Me: See what I mean."
"My teacher said he doesn't like imaginary numbers because the uses are limited. I asked him whether he was for reals."
"I was driving today... And saw a sign that said, ""Steamed Crabs"". I began to wonder: ""What made them so mad?"""
"A black man walks into a bar, with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks: ""Where'd you get that?"" ""The jungle."" Replied the parrot."
"Don't worry, you are safe Zombies eat brains"