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Joke of the Day

"My teacher said he doesn't like imaginary numbers because the uses are limited. I asked him whether he was for reals."

"What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? A key"

"I was in bed with a woman and she said, I want tonight to be magical And it was. After we had sex, I disappeared."

"A man was marched to an atm, and made to take out $300. Thats the last time he forgot his wifes birthday."

"What do a walrus and tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal."

"Arby's also has a secret menu. If you order a ""phone book"" they bring you a phone book and you can find any other place to eat."

"Why couldn't the Mexican be a Firefighter? Because he didn't know the difference between Jose and Hose B."

"Girlfriend kept nagging at me to put the toilet seat down. So here I am, crying in the middle of a field, with the seat & a shotgun."

"What the difference between What's the difference between a chick pea and lentil? I've never paid to have a lentil on me!"

"The Wifi and the deodorant of the person sitting next to me on this flight did not work :("